Updated: Jul 29, 2020
Am I okay or are you okay or are others okay? Have you ever asked yourself this question and how did you ask it? How did you feel after asking yourself this question? Lots of questions for the introduction, as well as a lot of questions that we ask ourselves on a daily basis, weekly, monthly, annually .... for life.
We all once thought that we are not okay, that others around us are not okay. In the blog ''Dramatic triangle'', we got a little caught up in the topic from which position we perform in order to play the game in order to get something we want. These are our basic life positions, which we took in early childhood. According to transactional analysis, life positions are occupied from the third to the seventh year of life.
There are four life positions.
I'm not Okay you're Okay -This life position is occupied by a person who diminishes his value, and on the other hand increases the value of another person. Here the person feels unworthy, feels shame, anxiety, self-hatred and even depression. While towards another person he can feel adoration and infatuation, and even addiction. When they find themselves in a stressful situation, people with this life position blame themselves and consider themselves responsible for what they are not responsible for.
I'm Okay you're not Okay -In this position, the person overestimates himself on the one hand, while on the other hand he diminishes the value of the other person. This person behaves arrogantly, humiliatingly, underestimating, contemptuously ... A person who takes this position in life expects others to behave humbly. Typical emotions for this position are self-love and self-admiration. When they find themselves in stressful situations, such people are critical of other people, while on the other hand they find it difficult to bear to be criticized by others.
I'm not Okay you're not Okay -This life position is the most difficult, here a person devalues himself and others. Here a person feels meaninglessness, helplessness, hopelessness. This position is a negative position and this position can lead to different outcomes so it is necessary to contact a professional to help you. If you are in this position and you are not able to find a way out on your own, contact us.
I'm okay, you're okay -This is a position that we should all strive for, to work on to reach it. This is a constructive position, where a person is aware of his own values and the values of others. He consciously accepts himself and others. In this position, it is important to be based on reality, not on idealization.
We need to be aware that in order to get to the desired position we will strive from a life position to a life position. Achieving the goal takes time and hard work on yourself.Be patient, work diligently on your mental state and the goal will come.