Dramatic triangle (The games we play)
Each of us played various games as a child. When we sailed into the world of children's imagination, we could be anyone ... we were doctors, policemen, teachers, firefighters....
Today, as adults filled with obligations and hectic lives, we no longer play such games, but there is certainly a game we play daily.
Stephen Karpman, a well-known American psychotherapist, nicely explained what games we play in adulthood through a model he called the "dramatic triangle". According to him, we play the game every day and when we play we take on the following roles:
1. The Victim
In this role, there is a person who thinks he/she is inferior and who thinks he is not OK. When we play this role we ask for compassion from someone else. So a person can look for a person in a partnership who plays the role of either a persecutor or a rescuer.
Why this role seeks persons who are in the role of persecutor or rescuer? She or he is looking for people who will belittle and humiliate her just to confirm her inferiority and that she or he is not ok (The Persecutor) or will look for a person who will constantly "save" him/her.He/she thinks he/she cannot function on his/hers own(The Rescuer).
*It is very important to note that there are also authentic roles in the dramatic triangle. So for the role of the victim, the role where we have real physical or mental abuse is authentic!*
2. The Persecutor
-In this role, he or she thinks that they are better than others, there is also criticism, authority, rigidity, humiliation and insulting of others. He also thinks he is OK and other people are not OK. We can safely say that we all once been in contact with the person playing this role. Their purpose in the game is to make us feel bad and feel defeated, while they feel like winners.
How to avoid this game? The answer is simple, don’t show them our feelings of defeat and let them know we are on an equal footing.
Also in this role we have authentic roles that are related to professions such as judge, police, lawyers...
3. The Rescuer
- Between the roles of persecutor and rescurr, we have similarities in that both roles think that they are OK and that other people are not OK. The difference is that the rescuer reacts to offer help from that superior position. They feel guilty if they don’t help us if we turn them down for help.
Phrases uttered by therescuer.....there are various phrases that you can recognize, here we will single out a few as they are: "Let me help you."
''I will help you.''
''Let me do it for you....''
.......and a lot more.
In this role, it is also important to note that there are authentic roles through various professions such as doctor, firefighter, psychologist.....
In the beginning, it is difficult to recognize these games and the roles in it, but over time, each of us manages to recognize them and react to the cessation of "drama". For a start, we can work on ourselves so that we are not the ones to involve other people in the game.
As human beings each of us finds ourselves in the role of both victim and persecutor and rescuer, it is normal for roles in the dramatic triangle to circulate and alternate.
We hope you found this blog useful. If you have any doubts, feel free to write to us....